Attorney Donniece Gooden has observed a troubling cultural shift in American society where basic civility and decorum are being replaced by unnecessary rudeness and aggression. In a recent commentary, Gooden noted that this phenomenon spans digital spaces, public forums, political arenas, and everyday interactions, with many people mistakenly equating abrasive behavior with strength and conviction.
As an experienced litigator who describes herself as no "snowflake," Gooden expressed concern about the rising lack of class in social interactions. She recounted a recent incident at her regular coffee shop where a customer with food allergies was met with extreme hostility from staff members. The situation escalated to the point where employees began yelling and cursing at the customer, with one staff member dramatically jumping over the counter during the confrontation.
Gooden argues that there's a fundamental misunderstanding about what constitutes true strength. She contends that genuine strength emerges from self-respect, conviction, and courage, manifesting as quiet, unwavering assertiveness. In contrast, unnecessary rudeness often serves as a protective shield for those who fear honest engagement or struggle with self-doubt. People with authentic inner strength understand that being rude for its own sake is counterproductive and unnecessary.
The attorney emphasizes that assertiveness and self-belief remain crucial qualities, but these must be separated from the impulse to demean others. True strength involves defining one's own value without needing to devalue others to feel significant. Gooden's perspective is informed by her background growing up in Gary, Indiana, and Norfolk, Virginia, giving her what she describes as standards based on principle rather than privilege.
Gooden identifies technology and social media as significant contributors to this decline in civil discourse, suggesting these platforms have fundamentally altered how people engage with one another. She calls for more people to speak up about this issue and demand a return to basic decency in social interactions.
For those concerned about this cultural trend, Gooden proposes becoming a "classy counter-culture" by maintaining standards of grace, integrity, and self-control. She defines class not as wealth or status, but as the consistent choice of composure over chaos, thoughtfulness over impulse, and respect over retaliation. When encountering individuals lacking social graces, she advises maintaining one's own standards rather than engaging at their level.
The implications of this cultural shift extend beyond individual interactions to affect workplace environments, customer service standards, and broader community relations. As incivility becomes more normalized, it risks eroding trust in institutions and diminishing the quality of public discourse. Gooden's legal background provides unique insight into how these behavioral patterns might affect professional environments and conflict resolution. More information about her perspective can be found at https://www.hierophantlaw.com.
Gooden concludes that while uncouth behavior appears to be proliferating, individuals must resist being pulled down to that level. Maintaining personal standards of conduct, even when faced with provocation, represents the most powerful response to this cultural challenge. The preservation of civil discourse and respectful interaction remains essential for healthy communities and effective professional environments across all sectors.
