Angela, an ICU nurse, has released a memoir titled Forever 32 that recounts the sudden loss of her 32-year-old son, JP III, to a severe asthma attack on December 1, 2020, during the COVID-19 pandemic. The book details her experience from receiving the devastating phone call while at work to the aftermath of his death, offering a personal exploration of grief, faith, and the difficult path toward healing.
Her son had recently moved to New York, secured a job, and was planning to visit for Christmas—their first reunion in 20 months due to pandemic restrictions. When the emergency room doctor informed her by phone that her son had stopped breathing and required multiple rounds of CPR, Angela, drawing on her medical expertise, immediately recognized the grave prognosis. Upon arriving at the hospital, she observed clinical signs indicating a severe brain injury, despite her family's hopes for alternative outcomes. She describes the agonizing days at his bedside, knowing she would never again hear his voice or receive his reassuring text messages.
After her son was declared brain dead, Angela was contacted by the organ donation team. She emphasizes that she did not rush this decision and chose not to blame healthcare providers or pandemic-related delays, acknowledging that blame cannot reverse loss. She references biblical passages, such as Romans 2:11 and Jeremiah 29:11, and the film The Flash to illustrate the futility of dwelling on "what if" scenarios, finding solace in their last exchange of "I love you."
The memoir underscores that grief is a highly individual experience, with no prescribed timeline. Angela advises those mourning to seek constructive pathways, such as walking, listening to music, and leaning on family, while avoiding destructive escapes like substance abuse. She notes that initial support from the community often fades, leaving individuals to choose between remaining in darkness or moving toward light. For her, anchors included her husband, daughter, other children, grandchildren, and close friends, who reminded her that healing cannot be undertaken alone.
Angela returned to her nursing duties on Christmas Day, 24 days after her son's death, believing that staying active was necessary to begin rebuilding her life. She reflects on the universal nature of loss, quoting that "We all have a reservation in someone's cemetery without the privilege of cancellation," and stresses the importance of kindness, cherishing moments, and giving "flowers" to loved ones while they are alive. The memoir serves as both a tribute to her son and a resource for others navigating similar pain, highlighting that a child's death leaves a unique void but also a legacy affecting many roles—brother, father, grandson, cousin, or friend. Forever 32 is available for readers seeking understanding and guidance through loss.
