Rikki Jo Neyer has released her debut book, "Do You Believe in Miracles? Our Journey Out of Darkness and Into the Light," which chronicles her mother's eight-and-a-half-year struggle with an undiagnosed illness that left her catatonic and the family's fight to find answers. The book, published by Lucid Books, an independent hybrid publisher in the Houston area, offers a raw and honest account of caregiving, medical uncertainty, and faith.
For nearly a decade, Neyer watched her mother disappear into an illness that no doctor could name. Her mother wore sunglasses inside the house because light became unbearable, and she eventually experienced what Neyer describes as unrecognized catatonia. The family searched for answers while their loved one retreated further into darkness. Neyer became her mother's voice when she could not advocate for herself, a role familiar to countless caregivers who navigate medical uncertainty, exhaustion, and fear.
"I did not set out to become an author," Neyer says. "I set out to survive a season that felt impossible. For eight and a half years I watched my mother disappear into an illness no doctor could name, and I realized that if I did not write it down, the world might never know what she went through."
The turning point came when Neyer's mother received Ativan and woke from the catatonic state. Her mother later summarized the experience: "I did die. And God brought me back." That moment of recovery did not erase the years of suffering but gave them new purpose, compelling Neyer to tell the full story, including the painful parts.
"This book required me to go back into rooms I had worked very hard to leave," Neyer says. "The dark years, the doubt, the moments when my faith was barely a thread." She resisted the temptation to make those memories easier or more palatable. "The reader who is sitting in their own dark room right now does not need a polished version of suffering," she says. "They need the truth."
"Do You Believe in Miracles?" distinguishes itself from a traditional inspirational memoir by bringing together faith, caregiving, medical questions, family experience, and firsthand testimony. It includes four interviews with key witnesses, a scientific summary of catatonia, Scripture, and appendices written specifically for caregivers, people struggling to keep going, and those trying to support someone they love.
Neyer hopes the book will reach other families asking similar questions. "I hope caregivers feel seen in a way that nothing else has made them feel seen," she says. "I hope anyone who has ever loved someone through a darkness that has no name finds language for what they have been carrying." She also hopes it encourages readers facing unexplained symptoms or a misdiagnosis to keep asking questions.
At the heart of the book is the question contained in its title: Do you believe in miracles? Neyer does. "And I hope every reader who has ever wondered whether God still finds people in the darkest places finds their answer here," she says. "He does. I am living proof. My mother is living proof."
Neyer's experience transformed her understanding of beauty, suffering, and faith. She came to see that beauty and suffering are not opposites but companions, and that hope can remain present even when circumstances offer little evidence of change. She describes the writing journey in three words: "Witness. Endure. Return."
"I witnessed what happened to my mother and to our family," Neyer explains. "I endured the process of putting it on the page and going back into rooms I had worked very hard to leave. And through the writing, I returned to myself. I returned to hope. I returned to a version of faith that had been tested in every possible way and was still standing."
Most importantly, the book is being published while Neyer and her mother can share the story together. Her mother is alive, participated in the book, and after eight and a half years that once seemed to have stolen so much, mother and daughter are making up for lost time.
Lucid Books is an independent, hybrid publisher in the Houston area. As a partnership publisher, Lucid Books offers the connections and expertise of a traditional publisher with the author involvement of a self-publisher. For more information, visit lucidbookspublishing.com.
